The Wall

So as you have read in my very first blog posting I have been wanting to have a second baby, I do really want a girl but any baby will suffice. Well as of Sunday i have felt like I hit some sort of wall. (This may be a little graphic but just bare with me.) Sunday morning I woke up and was spotting a little bit which didn't alarm me as women can spot for several reasons one of which I believed maybe I was Ovulating or even better maybe it was implantation bleeding. Well the day went on and the bleeding got worse with pain in my lower abdomen I just kept track of everything and waited until Monday to see if there was any change. Well Monday came and it was 10 times worse. More blood, a lot more pain so I called my Dr's office which of course they were closed due to the holiday. I got so worried and impatient that I called the on call Dr's nurses to take a message and he called me back basically telling me to take a pregnancy test but anything would have to wait until Tuesday anyways so I again did nothing. Tuesday I went to work with Mike so I could hopefully go to see my Dr. Who is so busy and couldn't even call me back until 3:30 by this time Mike had found another Dr and I had a vaginal exam, blood tests, urine pregnancy test and an Ultrasound set up. Basically the results said I wasn't pregnant, I wasn't losing a lot of blood, I didnt' have any infections or abnormalities but they wanted to do an ultrasound to find out what was causing the pain. Went to the Ultrasound appointment and the technician was very nice and answered a lot of questions I asked but all she could tell me was she found Cysts on my right ovary. Cysts are common but not normal and she couldn't determine how big they were, how long they have been there and if they would go away on their own or if they would need to be removed. I'm hoping to find out those results today from my Dr. But in the meantime I've been treating the pain with Ibuprofen and heat. I've also still been testing for Ovulation as I want to pinpoint when it is to help my chances of getting pregnant and I got very discouraged throughout all of this was hoping to at least get those answers. As life works i didn't, I tested everyday for the last 8 days and never received a positive Ovulation test. Now my mind is filled with all the thoughts of have I been Ovulating before and only had problems this month? Have I not been Ovulating and that's why I still haven't gotten pregnant. What if there is something wrong with me now so I can't have any more kids? Could i be content with one child? I'm kind of heartbroken at the thought of not being able to have another since I have waited so long to get my life back on track to be able to have a loving family to have more children in. I know there is always the route of Adoption but I would feel guilty trying to adopt a child knowing there are people out there who couldn't even have one baby of their own and they would want to adopt and I don't want to ruin there chances by being selfish and baby hungry. Right now I'm just really not sure what to do or how to feel. I don't know who i can talk to who might understand any of this.
Until Next Time
T

Jayme's First Valentine's Cards Exchange

Jayme has been so excited for Valentine's Day this year because of school. He handpicked his Valentine's which are Spider Man with Pencils and we also go Starbursts to go with them. He also will be taking cookies to school with him. I took some pictures of him and daddy signing his name on his valentine's for his friends and will try to take some pictures of him when we get to school tomorrow. Happy Valentine's Day everyone.

From Mike, Tiffany and Jayme

Valentine's Day Mini Cupid

At the Store yesterday we got Jayme's Valentine's Card's for his friends at school, and a treat to go with them. Well I decided I wanted to go to the dollar store to look for some heart shaped boxes (which after going to Zurchers and Michaels i was surprised the dollar store was the ones that had them) and Jayme saw that they had some heart shaped boxes of chocolates and some princess and spider man ones, first he grabbed the spider man ones but when I told him he couldn't give them to his friend without making the rest of the kids feel left out he decided against it but then wanted to get one for Savannah (Jayme's 2 year older girlfriend). We agreed and let him pick one out. He picked the princess box of chocolates. He said that she would be so happy she would smile just like the princesses do. He is so cute!! Starting him off young to give gifts to his women. LOL I sure get a kick out of the things he says about his girlfriend. Now just have to find out if she even knows he likes her.

Helping Friends

So over the weekend I made some Chocolate Covered Strawberries and Mike and I enjoyed them so much that we joked about selling them for Valentine's Day... Low and behold we agreed to do so. I have a lot of fun when it comes to making treats and desserts I LOVE doing that I would seriously go to school to be a pastry chef. I then talked my two best friends husbands into either ordering some or letting me show them how to make them so their wifeys will have a special Valentine's Day.. Yay go me!! But it doesn't stop there. The one husband who's wife's birthday is the 13th (They don't celebrate Valentine's because of this so her's is all for her birthday) asked me if I could help him find some jewelry for his wifey. I talked to our Jewelry manager within our company found him a beautiful piece of jewelry for a great deal, had the order hand picked by this manager to assure he got the best diamonds we could offer and voila i have it with me right now to have him pick up. I feel amazing that I know she will LOVE it but that I had a huge part in making them both happy he is happy for the great price, she will be happy with the present. I wish everyday could feel this amazing!!! Until Next Time
T